Laurie Kilmartin

American comedian and writer (born 1965)

Laurie Kilmartin
Kilmartin in 2016
Born	(1965-07-16) July 16, 1965 (age 58) San Jose, California, U.S.
Medium	Stand-up, writing
Nationality	American
Alma mater	University of California, Los Angeles
Years active	1987–present
Children	1
Website	www.kilmartin.com

Laurie Kilmartin (born July 16, 1965)^[1] is an American comedian and writer best known for being a finalist on Last Comic Standing season 7. She was also a staff writer for Conan O'Brien's show Conan.

Early life

Kilmartin was born in 1965 in Santa Clara County, California, and grew up in Walnut Creek, California.^[2]^[3] Her father was a civil engineer, and worked abroad for much of her childhood, building dams and bridges in Iran, Nicaragua, Saudi Arabia, and the Philippines.^[2]

She attended the University of California, Los Angeles, where she was a competitive swimmer.^[2]

Career

Stand-up

Kilmartin began performing standup on August 27, 1987 at Fubar's Comedy Club in Martinez, California,^[4] and continued doing contract comedy gigs in the Pacific Northwest.^[2] She has since performed stand-up on Conan, Jimmy Kimmel Live!, Comedy Central's Premium Blend, Showtime, the USO Tour Cuba, for troops in Iraq, Shorties Watchin' Shorties, Verdict with Dan Abrams, Red Eye w/ Greg Gutfeld, and The World Stands Up. She has been featured at comedy festivals in Aspen, Edinburgh, and Montreal.

She also appeared on VH1's Best Week Ever, the Today Show, White Boyz in Da Hood, Countdown with Keith Olbermann, The Rachel Maddow Show, Fox & Friends and The Oprah Winfrey Show.

In 2009 Kilmartin released a CD, Five Minutes to Myself, consisting of material she was not allowed to use on air. The CD covers topics such as immigrant boyfriends and unwanted Mexican babies, then answers an age-old question: Why is God such a prick in the Old Testament? Punchline Magazine called Five Minutes to Myself one of the “Top Ten Comedy CDs of 2009.”

Her comedy special, 45 Jokes About My Dead Dad,^[5] stand up comedy about cancer, hospice, death, grieving and funerals, debuted on Seeso, December 29, 2016.^[6]

Kilmartin was also a ‘Top Ten’ finalist in season 7 of NBC’s Last Comic Standing.^[7] She was also listed in The Huffington Post's 53 Favorite Female Comedians list in 2011.^[8]

In early 2016, Kilmartin and fellow comic Jackie Kashian began a new podcast produced by Nerdist Industries called The Jackie and Laurie Show.^[9] The two primarily discuss stand-up comedy in LA and on the road, occasionally covering harassment and the unequal treatment of female comics, Kilmartin's job as a staff writer on the late-night circuit, and Kilmartin's multi-generational family living situation.

Media appearances

During an MSNBC panel discussion following the May 2022 leak of a Supreme Court draft, which would overturn Roe v. Wade, Kilmartin joked that she would "make sweet love" to the person who leaked the brief, and that if the leaker turned out to be a Republican, she would "joyfully abort our fetus and let them know."^[10]

Writing

As a writer, Kilmartin was on the staff of The Late Late Show, Tough Crowd with Colin Quinn (on which she was also a frequent panelist), and Comedy Central's Too Late with Adam Carolla and The Bonnie Hunt Show. She also wrote articles published on Huffington Post, Babble.com, and co-authored Sherri Shepherd's memoir, Permission Slips.

In 2012, she wrote the New York Times bestselling book Sh*tty Mom: The Parenting Guide for the Rest of Us.^[11]

In 2018, she published Dead People S*ck, "an honest, irreverent, laugh-out-loud guide to coping with death and dying."^[12]

Personal life

Kilmartin has a son born in 2006.^[13] She is a single mother who often jokes about her son and motherhood.

Her mother died from complications of COVID-19 on June 18, 2020.^[14]

Discography

Five Minutes to Myself (2009)
45 Jokes About My Dead Dad (2017)
Corset (2021)

References

^ "Laurie A Kilmartin, Born 07/16/1965". California Birth Index. Retrieved October 6, 2017.
^ ^a ^b ^c ^d Kilmartin, Laurie (February 20, 2014). "Episode 472". WTF Podcast (Interview). Interviewed by Marc Maron.
^ "Bio". Laurie Kilmartin - Comedian. 2014.
^ Kilmartin, Laurie (November 7, 2021). "Episode 732 - Pause and Respond". Comedy Bang Bang Podcast (Interview). Interviewed by Scott Aukerman.
^ Schroeder, Audra (December 29, 2016). "Laurie Kilmartin looks back—and forward—with '45 Jokes About My Dead Dad'". The Daily Dot. Retrieved October 5, 2017.
^ "45 Jokes About My Dead Dad". IMDb. Retrieved September 5, 2017.
^ "'Last Comic Standing' finalist Laurie Kilmartin comes to Punchline Aug. 13 and 14". Sacramento Press. August 13, 2010.
^ "53 Of Our Favorite Female Comedians". Huffington Post. July 26, 2012.
^ "The Jackie and Laurie Show". Nerdist Industries.
^ Rumpf, Sarah (2022-05-08). "MSNBC Panel Breaks Down When Guest Says She Wants to 'Make Sweet Love' to the SCOTUS Leaker and 'Joyfully Abort Our Fetus'". Mediaite. Retrieved 2022-05-10.
^ "Book". Laurie Kilmartin - Comedian. 2014. Retrieved September 5, 2017.
^ Wright, Megh. "Laurie Kilmartin's Book 'Dead People Suck' Is Out Next Month". Vulture. Retrieved 2018-08-16.
^ DuShane, Tony (August 29, 2013). "Laurie Kilmartin: Self-described (bad) mom nears end of life on the road". SFGate. Retrieved October 5, 2017.
^ "A comedian watched her mom die from COVID on an iPad. Her live tweets will break you". Los Angeles Times. June 18, 2020.